Alice in Wonderland

The number one reason I didn't like my hospital stay was my roommate, "Alice". She was crazy, literally. She was on the floor because she had shoulder surgery on her right arm. It was in a metal brace that forced her to keep her arm extended straight outward. They had wanted to discharge her on the day of my surgery, but when they asked her where she was she said she was at St. Luke's in Cedar Rapids and it was 2002. She also lived alone in an apartment with 2 flights of stairs. She clearly was not ready to go home to take care of herself. Often I would make sure the curtains were closed between us because I didn't want to talk to her. This didn't stop her from talking. Sometimes she talked in her sleep, sometimes to me, and sometimes to the TV. Ahh, the TV, she never turned it off. Never. It was so loud and was the main reason why I didn't sleep. If I have to stay in a hospital again and may have a roommate, I will pack a night mask. I tried to use my IPOD to drown out the sound, but the charge ran out in the middle of the night.
Every other word out of Alice's mouth was a swear word and I never knew what she was doing. On Friday night, she had a bed alarm placed on her bed, so she got up several times and set off the alarm in the middle of the night. No sleeping in my room! I was a little nervous that she might hurt me. I couldn't move literally, she could and who knew if she would start to think some crazy thought and hurt me somehow. I kept thinking about the movie "Misery" when Kathy Bates crushes the leg of her captive. Luckily this never happened. She had so many good sayings that Sat night Logan and I had to jot them down, so as not to forget it. Here they are...
Scene: Hospital room with two beds curtains drawn for privacy.
Night 2: Alice had gotten out of bed and is looking around holding a blanket around her waist.
Nurse: "Where are you going?
Alice: To go look for a job.
Later... "No we are not all from Dubuque."
(Thankfully a nurse came in and got her to turn off her light at least when it was 11pm)
Night 3:
Alice randomly says: "So would you guys consider finding this?" "No, go and tell him he has to get out of there!" "Sounds like its...Ooh! I sorry!"
Alice talking to TV: "I think you should sleep on it!"
My personal favorite, "I didn't know I was a diabetic?!" Every time the nurse's aid would come to check her glucose before meals. Did I mention she had a huge baggie full of tootsie rolls and other chocolates?
The staff tried changing her pain meds, ruled out an UTI, gave her oxygen, everything they could think of to make her lucid, but I think she was just crazy, plain and simple. I wish Alice the best, she clearly can not take care of herself and it seems that she has no real help at home. I only wish she would have turned the tv off.